Why God Gave Me an iPad

Since this is my first post, first I'll tell you why I named my blog "That Suzy". I have lived a long time and had a lot of experiences. I'm not perfect; but I live a life close to Jesus Christ. It hasn't always been that way. Some of my mistakes, choices, family members - you fill in the blank - have raised a few eyebrows in my little town over the decades. Being from a little town, stories tend to circulate, grow, refine, and cling to their subject regardless of their validity (mind you, some ARE true and some aren't) and usually without the benefits of a fact-checker. So, when my name is mentioned around these parts, most people will tilt their head back just slightly and - depending on which story they have heard; or chosen to believe; or even circulated themselves; or simply how or where they have met me - with a look of some recognition they will utter "On, that Suzy!"
Now depending on inflection, tone of voice, and the volume with which it's uttered, one can usually determine quickly if one is speaking to a fan or foe of "that Suzy"! The world is full of "That Suzys", at least in my experience. Maybe you are "that Suzy" too - beloved or hated, befriended or whispered about, accepted or misunderstood, definitely outrageous, fun, and absolutely original... If so WELCOME! This is your space too. I hope once you read these posts, you'll be saying "Oh!! That Suzy!" in the same way my most precious BFF, Angela, says it - full of love, acceptance, understanding, and laughter. I promise to feel the same way about you.

So, let me tell you about my day yesterday, and how and why God gave me an iPad! Yes an iPad for Suzy, you know, Suzy... ohhhhh, THAT SUZY!

Some of you reading this will know my older sister died June 11th from a drug overdose. Six years before that, my younger sister died - from an overdose. Needlesstosay, I have been feeling down and confused. Without cluttering this post with the gory details, my sisters dealt with their addictions through most of their adult lives with varying degrees of success and sadly, ultimately failure. For the record, I was spared any addiction to alcohol or drugs probably so that I could blunder through life fighting other demons - but, then, aren't we all fighting something?

So, yesterday, I was talking all this out with the Lord. I was pouring out my heart and He was there. Just there. Listening, caring, comforting, understanding. It wasn't a tirad or "why me" kind of prayer. I was just letting the Creator of the entire Universe know that I was having a hard time since my sister died. Letting Him know that I felt especially lonely and isolated (dysfunctional birth-family kind of isolated - don't get me started on my mother!!) I was also being taught by Him that I have a problem with ... control. Since He made me a woman, I figured He was supposed to know that already! I guess His point is that I need to know it too.

All my life, I have tried to "fix it" - whatever or whomever "it" is at the moment. I am realizing I do this with God all the time. Do you ever find yourself doing that? I either "don't want to bother Him" with a small issue or (He is teaching me firmly) I don't really trust Him to fix "it" for me - which means "my way". It actually brings tears to my eyes to write that; but it is true. Trusting God's will (and letting go of mine) pings several of the "sore spots" left on my soul by my childhood experiences. I find that God seldom works on my problems when I hold them in my lap or send them to His throne with an instruction sheet attached! So, yesterday, with a nod to what He has been trying to teach me for decades, I just asked God for a little "favor".

Really?? No, I didn't ask Him for an iPad. That was His idea. I am getting to that part... So as I talked all this out with God, I said something on the order of, "Just in case You have forgotten, I have trust issues and control issues and... well... issues!! But I feel lost and alone and drowning in sadness that is not subsiding and I don't know what to do! I don't have a solution. I need Your help. Father, please send help today. Send someone or something across my path that will show me You want me to have hope, to hang on, that joy will be possible again. Please, Lord, make it something so ridiculously, obviously, unpredictably YOU that my spirit will recognize You in it and begin to heal." I then looked around me as I gathered my belongings to step out the door and fully expected to see a wise, comforting stranger emerge from my closet or laundry room to tell me to "hang in there"! Creepy, huh? Probably a good idea that it didn't happen since my husband got me a gun for my 50th birthday...

At any rate, I went about my morning kind of regularly; but with the thought that God was going to send someone across my path in an unbelievable way that I would recognize as His handiwork. No stranger appeared and as the morning went along, I honestly kind of forgot about my plea. But God didn't forget. Maybe He just needed me to stop looking so hard for Him and just be still. How many of you instinctively finished that sentence with "and know that I AM GOD"? (Taken from Psalm 46:10 if you want to look it up.)

So, here I am oblivious and driving home when my niece, Christy, sent me a text: "Did you see that you won the iPad contest" a local company had posted on a popular social media site? "Yeah, right, very funny Christy" I thought. Since I was driving, I called her instead of answering her text (now that sounds really safety-conscious and I try to be; but we all obviously know I read the text while driving - YIKES!) Well, low and behold I actually, really, truly WON! I couldn't believe it!! I was so happy! I never win anything. How unusual... how ridiculous... how unpredictable... how joyful I was feeling at that moment. Then it hit me.

It's hitting you, too, isn't it? My spirit immediately recognized what was crossing my path. The handiwork of God. Something so unusual it caught my full attention. It wasn't through a person that God brought me a message of hope and the promise that joy wasn't gone forever from my soul. And (please, please get this) it wasn't about the iPad! It was about GOD. It was about His heart and His total and complete supernatural knowledge of me, His creation, in all my ugliness and glory!!! He heard me. He sent me my undeniable sign in a language I would immediately recognize as impossible without His handiwork. He, Himself, was the Messenger Who told me "Hang on. It will get better. There will be joy again..." Had I not forgotten my prayer and looked the other way, I may have spent the entire day waiting for a person to be sent across my path to rescue and encourage me - instead of the only One Who truly can. He chose to send me an iPad, an inanimate object, so I would turn my eyes back to Him and no other.

So that's the story about how God gave me an iPad and reminded me that joy isn't gone just because it feels gone. You may hear whispers and innuendoes about a lady in a small town somewhere who thinks God sent her an iPad. Religious fanatic? Delusional? Or just another wild story from Suzy... you know her, that Suzy...

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